Her skin was as white as snow and her hairs, jet black. When I first saw her, she was sitting on the corner of a table in my classroom. It was snowing outside hence, we all had to stay in class during the break time. Some students were discussing their weekend plans and some others were completing their assignments.
I was happy as I found a lone spot where I can think and of course, enjoy the sight. I was looking at the silently falling snow and was lost in my thoughts. It was then I realised that the snow distracted me and now I’m stuck. I couldn’t break out of the pleasure loop. I was getting anxious since I knew that I’m a very intimate person and could be taken away by strong fantasies.
She appeared from somewhere and held my hand and that’s how I sensed her presence. Her face was at my left side as her hairs were tickling my neck, she was close. She asked me to remember from the start but I don’t remember the start at all. All I remember is the whiteness. Then she asked me to elaborate on what I see. I was scared to speak at first ’cause I had the fear that she will add complexity to it instead of helping me out. She might have noticed my stressed eyebrows so, she rubbed her cheek against mine. I could sense her heat and felt connected. That is my favourite body temperature, neither too aggressive nor too cold to make me feelingless. A little high above neutral and I smile from under my skin.
She helped me put the right equation. And I was finally out of the pleasure box.
I turned and noticed her black iris eyes, looking deep into mine. I kissed her frozen lips. It felt like I’m touching the ice and before I could think of temperatures again, she kissed my lower lip. Then I realised it was me with cold lips.
The school got over and I reached home. She became my subject of interest for that night, actually, I must admit, for every night. And I wanted to explore more. So many times I found her in the snow-covered mountains. There she was half dressed with snow and her eyes longing for an addictive site. Yes, she was the most mystical character I ever met.
I touched her a little deeper inside every day so that she makes her home in me. I would be lying if I tell you I didn’t feel insecure. She was a perfect piece of art and I was greedy for her. My universe moves with her. She was my centre. Her hairs entangled in my fingers while she was lying over me. I wanted to see her a thousand times to capture her face.
Her departure was more powerful than her arrival in my life. She didn’t die rather she faded and one day she became almost invisible to me. That was the most painful thing I ever experienced in my life, watching her die each day.
The day we exchanged rings, there was no one to wish us a happy married life but I was content. Those candles were staring at the most beautiful, white gown lady.
One evening, I was locked in a puzzle and couldn’t come up with the right numbers. And it felt like this time I won’t be able to come out of this place. I was standing over a square platform and surrounded by many more squares. I was calling out her name, asking for help. She didn’t come. I lose my balance and fell down it was a rabbit hole.
Thump, I reached the bottom and opened my eyes. I found an unending passage in front of me. So, I walked and walked until I heard some whispers.
“Are you Okay?”, she said.
I followed the voice and found her assisting a man with broken wings. I took her hand and we walked until I saw the end. There I created a pleasure box for us and locked her in it. That was the most complex thing I ever imagined.
I woke up in the morning, feeling secure and masculine. She can never leave now I was relaxed. But she wasn’t as happy as I was. She woke up pale that morning. I didn’t know that she died in that pleasure box. I never went there as I could never reach that level to unlock it. Though I tried.
I saw her fire dying and her hairs falling. I saw her lips drying and her heart bleeding.
Oh, I saw her fading.
Yes, I saw her disappearing from my life.