No, she is not always there but I see her sometimes and I feel I’m the only one who can see her.
A few months back, on a rainy day, I saw her for the first time. In between the chaos she was sitting on the bench, it seemed she was waiting for someone. But when the bus arrived she paid no attention and a couple of minutes later it was all silent. I was completely wet and standing under the tree, I was shivering. I always like to connect with people and listen to their life story. She really caught my attention.
Something strange could be sensed as I was stepping closer to her. I don’t know what, maybe the air surrounding her, it was so dense. Her face was straight but chin was a little pointed and her nose was different, that’s all I can say about her nose. I have seen her eyes but I only remember her black, elongated eyebrows. That look on her face, it was attractive at least for me ’cause no one around observed her. Maybe because people were so busy and of course not in search of a story.
I sat next to her but I was completely unconscious. You’re always more conscious when you meet a new person but it was black in my head. I could attempt to ask her, words were on my tongue. I was trying to focus on the blurred figure with my squinty eyes. And the next moment it was gone. There was nobody sitting next to me but there were people around, some with umbrellas.
I went home and don’t want to think about it anymore because as I try to remember it makes me feel like I’m going crazy. Days passed and it was all normal like before until I saw her again. It wasn’t raining this time, I was returning home and yes I was hungry. My mind was taken, I had a lot on my plate. I remember I was supposed to give a presentation the next morning. So I told myself not to stop. Just for the sake that I’m not crazy, I believe that it is my imagination as I overworked last night and I’m sleep-deprived. I reached home and yes everything was fine.
Weeks passed but she didn’t. I didn’t tell anyone about her obviously because I don’t want to be labelled as a mad man, my hairs have not even turned grey yet.
How do you deal with street dogs? you just ignore them without letting them know you’re scared of them. I ignored her each day. Then I realised she is following me. Now the situation is getting worse. I couldn’t concentrate on my work properly. But I didn’t tell anyone and I didn’t even Google anything related. I was frightened that I’ll be lost in order to find about this thing happening to me.
One fine morning she finally made it to my home. I saw her partially and locked my room. The experience I’ve collected watching Horror movies had made me very clear that locked rooms don’t certify you’re safe and they are scarier. I was there on my bed with frozen feet for more than an hour, nothing really happened.
Is this the time for me to consult a psychiatrist or it will just pass.
I decided to do it, to confront her. I took my diary and went to sit under the lonely, old Oak tree because I knew she would come. No doubt I was out of my senses sitting there and she came, sat next to me. I looked at her with my little eyes into her wide eyes and noticed her thick white skin with no blood. I kept looking in her eyes as if I can see the entire universe through them. They take me to places I don’t know but everything felt so known to me. It was dark. I woke up and found myself alone there.
I still see her but I’m not afraid of her anymore. Still not sure how to define her. All I know is, she is so true.