Finding Home

An undressed body, covered in dust, lying face down on the road.
As long as I can remember I have been travelling and killing. It was another day of survival and I found a way out of woods. It was getting dark and I was standing on this forest road with hope in eyes. Maybe I can go back to my people.
I was separated from my family when I was very young since then I have been dreaming that one day I can go back and sleep on my mother’s lap so that she can complete her story. But when I saw this girl, hardly five, I realised I’m old enough to share my lap.

I turned her, she wasn’t bleeding but her face and parts of her body were bruised and some burnt injuries were horrific to imagine. I could hear the rolling of wheels so I picked her and we hid behind the bushes. A truck with young girls packed was running which was guarded by men riding on their bullets. I don’t know how she managed to escape. After washing off the mud I wrapped her in my outer garment. I put her hand on my hand and noticed the difference. That was the first time I felt heaviness on my shoulder.

All these years I have been running and hiding from place to place. My life has made me tough and I can withstand the worst that happens to me. I killed the guard with a crowbar when I was nine. I didn’t like the way he uses to sniff at me.
It was dark and the group was resting when the guard came to me telling me about the place we are going to visit tomorrow. I was sure if I didn’t run now I’ll never be able to go back home but he was in my way so I put a full stop on his story.
That was the scariest night of my life. I couldn’t close my eyes, I was cold and the smell of blood was awful.

But now I no longer need a crowbar to kill. My hands are red and I smell like blood, I have learnt to accept that. It took me a long time to conquer my fears. But this girl ruined all my training she made me feel I’m still weak as I cannot leave her in this situation.
She was on my lap and I was looking at her face. This was such a strange feeling, making me a human again. She opened her eyes and saw my face I tried to smile. I don’t know how to smile in a way that doesn’t scare her. She was in a shock and didn’t speak but kept staring at me.

“Are you hungry?” I asked her but she didn’t respond. I used a hand gesture to make her understand but she kept looking at me this time with tears in her eyes.
She was eating hurriedly and I was enjoying looking her eat. I thought I’m left with no feelings but she gave me another life.
She ate and fell asleep. It was a cold night. I touched her face with my both hands and her dried lips. I couldn’t sleep all night, my eyes wide open as I’m trying to connect with her.
Looking around, my mind thinking of ways to control any sudden attack on us.

I’m still changing places, still finding a home but the address is different now.

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