The hard decision is to let go, she told me, but it is best to do. There is no good in holding onto things that are giving you pain.
‘You hold on to situations’, she said in a quivering voice, situations that you think will give you pleasure in the future. Let go, these situations because they are not going to turn pleasurable. You are scared that if you let go all this, you will be left alone and you are scared to be alone. So, you hold on to people that no longer respect you, that no longer care about you. You hold on to empty promises. You hold onto hugs that deprive love because you are telling yourself a lie every day that these things will retain their love and that these people will love you again.
She asked me, ‘why are you holding on pain? why are you acting like a coward? Do you want to hold onto things, situations and people that do not belong to you anymore?’
I replied ‘I’m scared… ‘ and she interrupted, ‘you are scared to let go things that are not yours. So don’t let them go. When you will be taking your last breath I’ll come to you to ask, who stayed, your whole life with you. Till that time you might have realised, you lived all your life tucking others in a shirt that you could never wear.’
And I had teary eyes by the time she completed her sentence.
‘Go and sit on the last seat and let everyone sit in the front’, she said to wait and watch how many stayed until the movie end. And even if you are left alone you know how to pick yourself up and move to a better tomorrow. A tomorrow where you no longer have to fake your smile. And where you no longer have to take care of the people who don’t know your worth.
I said in a trembling voice, ‘I know there will be days after tomorrow when I’ll be lonely. All I could here then will be my footsteps. I’m scared of that bleak situation when there will be no one to hug me and tell me that it’s all going to work out okay.’
So she said, that will be the time you will love yourself. The love, you have always been finding in others you will find in yourself. The way you always want people to treat you, you will be treating yourself. And all you could hear are the footsteps of someone who stayed until the movie end.
Let go, let go, let go then see who stayed. 🙂